is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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