im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
