Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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