Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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