I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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