Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
is that a dick in a sweater?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
