my sisters under your porch take her home
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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