Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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