If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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