I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I believe in your delicious
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
