Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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