That's intense
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
