guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
