You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
