piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
