I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
