You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
