And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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