Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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