I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
