I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
