So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
