Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
