some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
