So drunk its hurt
operation harelip BJ is a go
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
