shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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