The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
