Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
