i already hear my dad disowning me
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize