i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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