just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
