Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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