So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
last night I used snow as a chaser
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
