She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
