The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
no you cant smoke seaweed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
