from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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