Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
