I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Randomize