i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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