why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
