Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
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about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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