Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
