you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
