Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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