Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
