At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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