But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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