any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
