on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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