I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
