with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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