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On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
