Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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