Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
