We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
