I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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